No Privacy

As a young child, I have never been given any type of privacy at all. At school I had people and at home especially at home, I would see people. Obviously it is not a bad thing but to some degree, empirically since I am an introvert and need some alone time in order to recharge, having no privacy to myself can be dreadful. I have to share a tiny room with my mom and little brother. I sleep on a bunk bed with me on the top and my mother and brother at the bottom. Never once experienced a room to myself or even a place where no one is around. I could go outside or to a cafe but that would be the same vibe.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily complaining about my situation of not having any privacy since I am fed and have a roof and also a place where I can write my thoughts. I am more of saying what it can do to a person who needs to be alone to be able to think properly and to meditate. My family is also home most of the time, and since my computer is in the living room, whatever I am watching or doing, my family will disturb and find out what I am doing.

Sometimes it gets to the point where it just irritates me and start throwing a silent tantrum in my head. This is bad because I am keeping emotions in and I should be letting them out. But I don’t too much of a douchebag about stuff like this since my family is really kind. It is just that having no place to myself can be agonizing and distressful that it brings me to lunacy. It gets me riled up and wants to end up wanting to punch a wall.

Now that is my emotion talking. What I decided was to go on long walks and to work else where if I am in any stress or discomfort. I only ever work at home if I am feeling comfortable or happy at that moment. It is better this way so that I don’t have to complain and look into the future, so that I can start planning to move out…hopefully.